If someone calls you out for leaving them off the guest list, Martinson says it’s best not to dance around it. “If someone says, ‘Looks like you had a great party,’ just say yes, you did, thanks.”
If you’re feeling left out, remember that what people post is a selected window into their lives, not a panoramic view, says digital strategist Tamar Weinberg, author of “The New Community Rules: Marketing on the Social Web” (O’Reilly, 2009).
“While social media is a great thing, and I love to see all the kids growing up, and the engagements and marriages, but yes, sooner or later your feelings will be hurt too,” she says.
Yanks asks permission to post updates and especially photos if they involve anyone else. She doesn’t want to jeopardize someone else’s job or relationships. And, she notes, parents are sensitive about having images of their kids posted.
She had an early conversation with her sister-in-law, and now there’s a blanket deal that photos of her niece and nephew are OK.
Besides hurt feelings, Rotolo is concerned about the botched surprises that can come when people check in at an airport (or even an airport coffee shop), or if they claim an online shopping deal that’s visible to their network. “At this point in time, there’s not much surprise left. You have to go off the grid to keep a secret. ... If you want a holiday surprise, you need to plan a connection-less strategy.”
However, Weinberg says that with so many people now online and comfortable using social media, there might actually be fewer faux pas going forward.
“There is a growing sensitivity on the part of the poster, but people also are growing that thicker skin,” she says. “You don’t want it all to be fully sanitized. As long as you are not intending to be exclusionary, people will forget and forgive.”