Published: January 10, 2007 09:55 am            

Where to put your money

Let’s play the “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is” game.

The rules are quite simple, but rest assured — no actual money is involved. Rather, it’s an exercise in examining how firm your beliefs really are.

For example, it’s easy for me to argue that people who own property along South 18th Street should be assessed for upgrades to the road. But would I feel the same way if the topic were my street?

Most certainly. It’s about the good of the city… but it’s also easy for me to take that stance since we bought a house on a street in very good condition with curbs and sidewalks. I don’t think the assessment issue will hit my block for a very long time.

I call it the PYMWYMI game because I think it’s a good way of ending arguments. When people were calling into sports talk radio shows and saying it was imperative that the Bears beat Green Bay on the last day of the NFL regular season, despite already having guaranteed the best record in their conference, only one question was needed: Would you like to see the Bears beat the Packers if it cost the Bears a chance winning the Super Bowl?

Well, PYMWYMI. If you answer yes, you’re not a real Bears fan. A real Bears fan wants the team to win the Super Bowl above all else. Other wins may matter, but not as much.

The Cubs fan questions is very similar: Would you rather see Wrigley Field demolished or have the Cubs win the World Series?

PYMWYMI. As much as I love the beautiful ball yard, I’d be the first in line to operate the wrecking ball. A real Cubs fan wants to win, and would accept winning if the games had to be played at U.S. Cellular Field, the Astrodome or on Pluto. Anyone who picks Bud Light in the bleachers over a champagne party on the field is missing the point.

The best recent example of these philosophical litmus tests is one trotted out by Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn on his blog during a discussion of the execution of former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein.

“If you’re opposed to the death penalty on moral grounds — that it’s never right to kill a defenseless, incarcerated human being for the crimes he (or she) committed — then to be consistent you cannot make exceptions for really bad, really guilty mass murderers,” Zorn wrote. “If you do, you lose the right to assert that your position is morally clear and rooted in some fundamental ethical value.

“As soon as you concede that sometimes it’s right to execute a killer — when the pile of bodies is so high and the list of atrocities so long and Gothic that you do not feel an objection in your heart — then you concede that the argument over capital punishment is really just one about where to draw the line.”

There’s been a lot of discussion on this page recently about the perception of Jesus Christ as it pertains to Muslims and Christians, which may have raised questions in the minds of those not fully committed to any faith. Was Jesus fully divine, the actual son of God? PYMWYMI — if you can’t answer yes, you’re not going to find a home in the Christian tradition.

Questions like these are the kinds of topics that could kill entire class periods at college — at least the kind of classes I opted for. They force people to think and make absolute choices when they’d prefer to float somewhere in the middle.

PYMWYMI questions can be applied to all sorts of hot button issues — abortion, drug laws, immigration — you name it. And while the questions many times deal with odd, rare or even improbable scenarios, they must be considered — at least when it comes to pending legislation — because it will be those scenarios that will come into play when court rulings are appealed.

It’s my belief that many Americans aren’t comfortable with absolutes, which is why conditional laws — while much more complicated to draft and pass — are more desirable than outright bans or strict limits that don’t allow for contextual decisions. If we asked a few more PYMWYMI questions, I think we’d find many people much more willing to draw lines in the middle than to stand on opposite sides of the fence and shout.

But how much fun would that be?

Scott T. Holland’s column appears every Wednesday in the Clinton Herald. His e-mail address is scottholland@clintonherald.com.

        

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