Don’t allow hate to grow in our community

By Maudi Walton
Special to the Herald

August 30, 2006 10:51 am

— As a child growing up in our home it was not only our mom and dad correcting and instructing us, but our grandparents also. Talk about “old school” teachings — our directives were Biblical — literally! My parents and grandparents were always alert and listening to our conversations and interactions with each other. (Did I mention that I’m the eldest of 10 siblings?)
Our corrections were instantaneous and consistent. “We don’t use that tone of voice when speaking to each other,” “Don’t say things like that about your sister!” “We don’t talk like that in this house!” “Keep your hands to yourself” “Don’t be selfish. Share!”
We were taught to tolerate each other. We could not be mean to each other or call each other names. What we were being taught was not to hate. Love begins in the home is what our parents believe. If we did not practice loving and respecting each other, how were we to know how to treat others?
Oh yes, our parents were always diligent, always on the lookout for the “seeds of hatred.” Those seeds were not allowed to grow in our hearts — not with our parents and grandparents around!
My parents and grandparents were well aquatinted with hatred. As African-American born and raised in the Deep South in the 1920s and ’30s and growing up in the ’40s, they were very well aquatinted with hate.
They recognized the “seeds” of hatred and had first hand experience of the “fruits” of hatred. No, they were absolutely not allowing hatred to take root in the hearts of their children.
Did you know that hatred is a learned behavior? People don’t instinctually hate each other. We hate because we are taught to hate — either passively or actively — or we hate because of a hurtful negative experience. The majority of people do not actively teach their children to hate.
What people do is talk about others in a negative way and their children hear them and adopt their parent’s belief system, or they do not correct the children when they say mean, hurtful things to each other. That is passive teaching; allowing hate to grow in their hearts.
According to Webster’s New World Dictionary, hate means to have strong dislike or ill will for; loathe; despise. Hate implies a feeling of great dislike or aversion, and with people as the object, connotes the bearing of malice.
The “seeds of hatred” that my parents were sensitive to were the bad manners we displayed when interacting with each other, the nasty, catty remarks we made to each other, the mean things we did to each other and the hard feelings we tried to hold onto with each other.
Hate has many synonyms and is disguised as revenge and scorn, disdain and wrath, ill will and rage, spite and aggressiveness, bad manners and disrespect.
As members of the human family, I believe that we can stop the hate by becoming more sensitive to the “seedlings” of hate. Don’t let them take root and grow in your children, your grandchildren or your home.
On Sept. 21, the Clinton Peace Coalition, along with many local sponsors, will host our Stop the Hate Walk in Clinton. The walk will begin at Clinton Community College and end at Ashford University. Please don’t continue to be passive about hate. Join us in taking a stand against hate. If you can’t walk, you could help make peace signs for the others to carry or you could bake some cookies and bring them to Ashford to share.
Remember, when you don’t say anything against hate, you are passively agreeing and allowing hate to grow in our community.
Maudi M. Walton is a founding member of the Clinton Peace Coalition. She is a certified prevention specialist II at New Directons/Area Substance Abuse Council, working primarily in the Clinton schools for more than nine years.