Published: October 11, 2006 10:01 am            

Negative ads are here to stay

It’s election season again, which always guarantees two things:

1. Negative campaign ads; and

2. People complaining about negative campaign ads.

Keep in mind that, in all but rare instances, negative ads are only perceived as negative by the people they aim to make look bad. For the people who produce them, they are vitally important steps toward winning an election.

While I may have gotten a D in college logic (whether or not I deserved said D is fully debatable), it’s easy to connect the dots on this one. Why do people produce negative campaign ads? Because they work.

In fact, this line of reasoning can be used for just about any long-running advertising ploy. If you see something over and over, and it frustrates you to no end — to the point where you want to cancel your newspaper subscription, turn off your radio or throw a hammer at your television — get used to that frustration because that ad isn’t going anywhere.

You know how you can’t watch a playoff game on Fox without seeing countless promos for the network’s fall lineup? Well, I bet after the World Series ends you know a lot more about what Fox has to offer than any of the other networks.

You know how you can’t get that annoying commercial jingle out of your head, the song so grating you wonder how real humans could have been involved in the composition process? Now tell me the name of the place in the Quad-Cities with all the water slides. That’s right, Wacky Waters Adventure Park.

Anyone who grew up near Chicago or its suburbs will know the phone number for Empire Carpeting without me giving any further hints. You may not have ever taken your car to Car-X for service, but just read the words “Rattle, rattle, thunder, clatter” and you’ll fill in the “boom-boom-boom” on your own.

For some people, this is no great revelation. But for others, the logic seems to be difficult to grasp. Just remember that almost every time you see, hear or read something enough times to ask yourself “Why do they do it that way?” the answer almost always is “Because it works.”

Why do fast food restaurants fry their foods in certain oils? Because it makes the food taste good and people buy things that taste good. Why do movie theaters show 10 minutes of previews before each featured attraction? Because it results in people coming back to buy more movie tickets at a later date.

Why does NBC sell a spot to a financial advising firm just so its Notre Dame football telecasts can include “The Charles Schwab Conversation?” Because Chuck is paying out the nose for it. Why did they go to the trouble to make another “Jackass” movie? Because people paid millions of dollars to see the first one.

Why do the Cubs continue to go into spring training with less than five starting pitchers in the rotation? Well, obviously there are a few exceptions. Some people do continue to pursue a failing business model to the death or are unable to afford more effective strategies.

There’s another minor hole in the theory, and that is the concept of target audience. In short, if you’re watching an hour-long TV show and nothing featured in any of the commercial breaks has any appeal to you whatsoever, it’s because you’re not in the target audience.

Same with movie previews. Kristie and I went to see “Monsters Inc.” when it was in the theaters (this was pre-baby, mind you) and not once did a preview make me say, “I’d like to see that movie.”

I feel this way about shows I watch on MTV, things like “The Real World” and the upcoming “Real World/Road Rules Challenge” that debuts Thursday. Ads on those shows promote CDs I would never buy, movies I would never see and clothes I would never wear. I watch Cubs games on WGN several days each week in the summer and still have no need for a Hoveround wheelchair or whatever denture product Carol Brady is hawking these days.

However, there must be enough of the target audience tuning in and spending money to justify the advertisers’ expense. Otherwise, either the product will fail or the show will be canceled or both.

But as far as campaign ads are concerned, my truth holds: They’re aired because they work. That doesn’t mean it’s right or fair or even honorable. But if it helps a politician get elected, it’s here to stay. God bless America.

Scott T. Holland’s column appears every Wednesday in the Clinton Herald. His e-mail address is scottholland@clintonherald.com.

        

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