"Tick, Tick, Boom!"

That's the name of the less famous work by Jonathan Larson, the creator of RENT. It's the less famous work because it's basically RENT, except it's an autobiographical depiction of Larson's fear and insecurity in the days approaching his 30th birthday. Also it's not as good.

However, the title and general theme suddenly tick, tick, ticked into my head this afternoon when my mom reminded me that in exactly two months I'll be leaving for Athens and won't be back until May.

Now, this isn't the same as ticking down the days till the big 3-0, but it does give me this awful feeling of not having enough time. I've been living from weekend to weekend for so long that I just didn't notice the months slipping away. Now it's July, and the scant little time I have left to spend time with my friends is frighteningly stark in my mind.

Two calendar pages. Eight weeks. Sixty days. Tick, tick, tick.

Granted, I know that I'll see them all again eventually. Eight and a half months isn't that long. But God help me, I'm going to miss those crazy kids. I'm going to miss having all my favorite people only a phone call away. The ones who hug me when I'm sad, who know what makes me laugh, who tease me for being short or not liking cheese aren't going to be around to do those things. I'll be all alone in a foreign country where I don't speak the language, living with a bunch of strangers. In two months.

Tick, tick, tick.

The fear of being totally on my own is creeping up on me as well. When the only people I know are an ocean away, how am I going to cope with things like grocery shopping in Greek and navigating public transport by myself? With my safety net only available via telecommunication, what happens if I fall? I'm not sure that I'm ready for this. I need more time to prepare.

But Aug. 30 is looming like an impending expiration date. "You have until this date to spend time with your friends and mooch off your mom. Then, you're outta here." The moment I step on that plane, whatever independent streak I've got in me will have to kick in. Otherwise, I'll just crumble.

Tick, tick, tick.

Yet, even as I write this, I know I'll probably be all right. It'll take some time to get my footing, but I'll figure things out. I'll make friends. I'll create a new safety net of people who will create a safety net containing me. The people I'll miss will still exist when I return, and though I'll have my lonely and homesick days, those will likely be few compared to the ones I'll spend enjoying being in Greece.

In the meantime, I can only do my best to keep the stress and nervousness and fear from enveloping me, get done everything that needs getting done, and make the most out of what time I have with my friends and family. Because what I really have no time for are needless worry, sadness, and frustration. These things are neither useful nor enjoyable and are therefore a waste of precious time.

So for now, I'll simply live. And try not to listen to the tick, tick, tick.

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Marissa Linzi, a Derry News intern, is a Pinkerton Academy graduate and a rising junior at Brandeis University. Her column appears twice a month in the Derry News.