The Clinton Herald, Clinton, Iowa

Lifestyles

November 29, 2012

Loving a child on the fringe

PARIS — If you'd told me five years ago that I was soon to bear a disabled child with blood cancer — for whom I'd have to surrender, possibly forever, career and love life — I'd have contemplated suicide. Moreover, I would have thought this a level-headed response: not an act of despair but a lucid sort of Swiss-style euthanasia.

I was a driven freelance writer and a headlong romantic with no interest in children. I had always assumed I'd have a husband (or perhaps three) and no kid. It had never occurred to me I might have a kid and no husband. Not me, the expectant mother with the nursery decorated in 12 colors four months ahead of due date. I didn't have a nursery. I didn't even have a separate room in the bohemian studio I inhabited in Paris, where I eked out an income scribbling for America's embattled book reviews.

The fact that I continued my pregnancy was a reckless romantic gesture: It was my Greek partner, not I, who wanted a child and who had implored me to keep this one in spite of our tempestuous relationship and slender means. Almost everybody else sounded the red alert: "You can't have a kid in such unstable circumstances!" they said — which only hardened our determination. I'll take responsibility for child care! I'll give the child whatever she needs, vowed the father: "And when all the naysayers see that healthy little blond child running over the cobblestone, they'll eat their words."

Our child, as it turned out, was not blond; she was not healthy, and the only person running was her dad. He headed for the hills of Crete when his daughter was 16 days old, changed his phone number, eliminated his email account, and instructed his family members to have no more communication with me. From that day on, it was the two of us girls in Paris: the mentally challenged infant and the know-nothing mother. A match made in hell. Or was it?

1
2 3 4 5 6 7
Text Only
Lifestyles
  • Choral group marks 10th anniversary CLINTON -- A Clinton choral group will celebrate its 10th anniversary this weekend. RiverChor will celebrate the anniversary at 2 p.m. Sunday at Zion Lutheran Church. The concert is free, but donations will be accepted. A reception will be held in th

    April 21, 2014

  • Camanche to host citywide garage sales CAMANCHE -- St. Mark's United Methodist Church will organize citywide garage sales scheduled for May 2 and 3. Those wishing to participate and have their garage sale listed in the advertising may obtain forms at Clinton National Bank, Citizens First

    April 24, 2014

  • Bald eagles Britton to present on lead effects MAQUOKETA -- A National Wildlife Refuge manager will present a program on lead's effects on bald eagles. Ed Britton, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Refuge manager, will deliver the presentation at 2 p.m. Sunday, May 4, at Hurstville Interpretive Center in Ma

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Spring flea market is April 27 MAQUOKETA -- The annual Spring Flea Market, Antique, and Collectible Show will be Sunday, April 27, at the Jackson County Fairgrounds in Maquoketa. The show has been in existence for 27 years and is one of Iowa's largest shows with more than 150 sell

    April 24, 2014

  • Human trafficking Stickers highlight human trafficking CLINTON -- Area establishments are receiving added decor this week thanks to an anti-trafficking committee. Sisters of St. Francis Center for Active Nonviolence and Peacemaking Anti-Trafficking committee members are placing stickers in local establis

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Cats outsmart the researchers

    I knew a lot had been written about dogs, and I assumed there must be at least a handful of studies on cats. But after weeks of scouring the scientific world for someone - anyone - who studied how cats think, all I was left with was this statement, laughed over the phone to me by one of the world's top animal cognition experts, a Hungarian scientist named Ádám Miklósi.

    April 22, 2014

  • Calling all munchkins CLINTON -- The Clinton Area Showboat Theatre is looking for munchkins. Local auditions will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. Monday, May 19, at the Showboat for munchkins in the upcoming "The Wizard of Oz" performance. Munchkins may be of any age as long as

    April 22, 2014

  • St. Paul grants Church awards grants

    CLINTON -- An area church recently awarded area organizations with grants. The Bickelhaupt Arboretum, the Felix Adler Children's Discovery Center, First Circle Friends, YWCA, Voices for the Land/Monarch Teacher Network and Haley Westerkamp were grant

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • On Iowa program selects Clinton residents CLINTON -- Four Clinton residents recently were named On Iowa student leaders. Keaton Fuller, Jacinta Jargo, Kenya Lewis and Allyson Naeve were among 235 people selected to serve as welcomers to new first-year and transfer students at the University

    April 22, 2014

  • Screen shot 2014-04-18 at 4.44.15 PM.png Paint, doodle and sketch: 3 apps for art lovers

    In the absence of a palette of watercolors and a sketchpad, these three apps can fill in as your art supplies of choice.

    April 19, 2014 1 Photo

Elections
Front page
Clinton Herald Photos


Browse, buy and submit pictures with our photo site.

Poll

Should the city of Clinton appeal the open records violation ruling that will cost taxpayers $40,600?

Yes
No
     View Results
AP Video
Olympics 2014
Featured Comment
Featured Ads
Blue Zones Project
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.