Dear Annie: I believe my sister’s husband, “Roy,” is having an affair. He and I have been flirting for several years, and we’ve had several occasions where we could have been together, but because of my sister, we never have.
My sister’s marriage has been troubled for years. The two of them live together, but in separate rooms. They haven’t been intimate for ages. My sister also has some health issues. Roy has said many times that the two of them should be able to see other people. Recently, I saw Roy with some younger woman, and the way they were looking at each other, I knew they were more than friends. He has never looked at my sister that way.
We do a lot of things together as a family. During our most recent family weekend, Roy kept taking off alone. I believe Roy knows that I’m aware of his affair, even though he hasn’t said anything. I’m pretty sure my sister already knows and is hurting. She barely speaks to him and spends most of her time with her grandchildren. They both act as though nothing has happened.
Roy has cheated before. I don’t want my sister to be hurt again, but I also don’t want to make things awkward between the two of us. I think it’s time for my sister to let Roy go and move on. How do I handle this? — Hurting, Too
Dear Hurting: We think you are overly involved in your sister’s marriage. You have no proof of anything, only suspicions, and the fact that you have flirted with your brother-in-law in the past raises questions about your motives now.
Your sister may be choosing not to confront her husband’s behavior, and that is up to her. Please try to be emotionally supportive of whatever path she takes to deal with this. Be a shoulder to lean on when she needs one. You don’t have to do more.
Dear Annie: I have liked this boy for almost a year. When I first started hanging out with him, one of his friends told me he liked me, too. He eventually asked for my phone number at church, and I gladly handed it over.
But we soon stopped hanging out, which left me feeling hopelessly confused. My friends say I should just go for it and ask him for his number. What should I do? — Hopeless
Dear Hopeless: This boy may have needed a lot of courage to ask for your number and didn’t have enough in reserve to actually call. Or he may have been teased by his friends and pretended that it was a joke to save face. Or he may be less interested than you hoped. There’s no way to know unless you take the next step yourself. We know it’s difficult, so imagine a negative result -- he turns down your request for his number. So? At least you’ll know he’s not the guy for you, and you can put it behind you. It’s better than hanging in limbo indefinitely. Good luck.
— Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.