The Clinton Herald, Clinton, Iowa

Opinion

November 12, 2013

Rules, relationships are important in children's development

‘Rules without relationship equals rebellion” is a phrase coined by Josh McDowell, a prolific writer who has coined the phrase “The Disengaged Generation,” his reference to the disconnect between today’s adults and teenagers.

A consistent set of clearly defined rules and consequences for both following and not following is certainly important; however, discipline approaches are likely to be ineffective without building a solid parent-child relationship.

There is, of course, no other way to establish a relationship with your child other than the investment of time.

In a conversation with a colleague this past week we discussed that although children have access to a myriad of electronic devices and generally an abundance of material goods, what they really seem to want is to spend time with their parents.

It is never too late to develop a relationship with your child, although the earlier this is done the better.

In an excellent book titled “Parent Child Interaction Therapy 2nd Edition” by Cheryl Bodiford McNeil, the author describes four primary components in building a relationship with children 7 years of age and younger. The four components include Describe, Reflect, Imitate and Praise, which can be remembered using the acronym D.R.I.P. To illustrate this point I will use an example of a parent drawing with his/her child. In “describing” the behavior the parent would want to comment on what the child is doing using a statement such as “I see you are using a blue crayon and drawing your car.” In using “reflection,” a parent may respond to the child who is saying “My favorite color is blue,” by restating “so your favorite color is blue.” In using “imitation,” a parent would sit with the child and participate in coloring a blue car.

The use of “praise” should be specific and be a reflection on effort not on outcome (e.g., “You are working so hard on your car)”.

Text Only
Opinion
  • 'Case Day' inspires students to aim high There's an MRCTV video circulating on the Internet that features a man with a microphone asking college students in Washington, D.C., to name just one member of the United States Senate. At least half a dozen are stumped. When he asks how many senato

    April 16, 2014

  • 4-15-14 13-Photo, Masters Bubba more than local hero? AUGUSTA, Ga. -- He plays a sexy game of golf, owns two green jackets and -- in what constitutes a show of major respect in these parts --Bubba Watson made rabid Georgia Bulldog fans take a break from spring football to watch some golf this weekend. A

    April 15, 2014 2 Photos

  • Leonard Pitts mug ...and this is Overkill News Network Enough, already. Please, for the love of Cronkite: Give us a break from the missing plane. Yes, we all wonder what happened to it. Yes, our hearts go out to the families seeking resolution. But really, CNN ... enough. Put your hands up and step away

    April 15, 2014 1 Photo

  • If I can do it... If I can do this, you can also do this. What I would like to tell you about is being a volunteer driver for the Veterans Administration. I am retired from the electrical trade. I worked as an electrician for 36 years. When I took my retirement some t

    April 15, 2014

  • Allie Kibler mugshot YWCA camp offers fun for kids Each month YWCA members and volunteers are featured highlighting the many facets of our community in which they're a part of. This month, YWCA Youth Director, Allie Kibler shares information on this summer's YWCA Fun in the Sun Summer Camp program. T

    April 15, 2014 1 Photo

  • Could LBJ do as much today? Fifty years later, it's hard to imagine the enactment of the Civil Rights Act by today's polarized Congress. Maybe, as the old saying goes, today's fighting is so vicious because the stakes are so small. We Americans fight less among ourselves when w

    April 14, 2014

  • Retiring CCC instructors praise college's growth, direction After more than 35 years of service to Clinton Community College, we would like to offer some pre-retirement observations about the college: its past, its present and its future. When we arrived at the college in 1976, it had already been transforme

    April 14, 2014

  • School funding still an ongoing topic The budget still has several hurdles to jump before it is finalized. Now the House has to reach a consensus and then if the House and Senate cannot agree, a conference committee would have to merge the two versions. Finally, the governor has to sign

    April 12, 2014

  • Meier Take a survey, win a cruise; not going to happen A Clinton woman called me last week to report on a phone call she received. She first received a call from a young woman, who asked her to take a short survey. It sounded innocent enough, so she agreed, and answered a few questions, none of which so

    April 12, 2014 1 Photo

  • Economic plan invests in Iowans Our work at the statehouse this week has been spent on the last few major budget bills. Since I serve as vice-chairwoman of the Economic Development Budget subcommittee, I have been focused on House File 2460. This bill funds small business developm

    April 12, 2014

Poll

Should the city of Clinton appeal the open records violation ruling that will cost taxpayers $40,600?

Yes
No
     View Results
Facebook