The Clinton Herald, Clinton, Iowa

Opinion

May 7, 2014

Husband upset wife values her friends more than him

DEAR ANNIE: When my birthday was coming up, I told my wife about a piece of technology I really wanted and asked her to buy it for me. It cost $300. She said it was too expensive and didn’t get me anything except a card.

In the past three weeks, she has purchased three birthday gifts for friends, each costing roughly $100. She put in a ton of effort to find exactly the right gift.

Am I justified in feeling hurt by this snub? Should I talk to her about it, or am I being petty? — Ignored

DEAR IGNORED: We certainly can understand why you would be miffed that your wife has no problem spending $300 on friends and nothing on you. But some people don’t like being told what to buy, because it takes all the joy out of the occasion. Or perhaps your wife disapproved of the piece of technology you wanted. Or maybe she thinks you could get these things for yourself, especially if the money comes from the same account. We suspect your real issue is that your wife seems to value her friends more than her husband. This certainly merits a discussion. Please talk to your wife. Tell her you are hurt and ask whether more is going on than meets the eye.

DEAR ANNIE: It’s graduation time again. A while back, a teacher asked you about graduation gifts for students. You said, “Many graduates deeply appreciate a personal letter from a teacher expressing positive thoughts about the student.”

Teachers, please don’t underestimate that final statement. For those who feel obligated to give something more tangible, an inexpensive gift representing your relationship with the student along with a personal note would also be treasured.

I know. I received such a gift 30 years ago -- a piece of music that our band performed. And while I appreciated the monetary gifts from my relatives, that small gift is the one that still touches me the most deeply.

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With the Clinton County Justice Coordinating Commission and the Clinton County Board of Supervisors discussing proposals to construct a new jail, do you think the time has come for Clinton County to construct such a facility?

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