The Clinton Herald, Clinton, Iowa

Opinion

December 9, 2013

Now, here are some laws we really need

This classic column was originally published Feb. 24, 1985.

Every legislative body is always passing more laws. Legislators have even been passing laws that not only protect us from each other but from ourselves, as well.

I was thinking of some laws that might be good for them to enact:

• Declare a ceiling on laws. Neither Congress nor any state legislature could pass a law without first rescinding an old one to make room for the new one.

• Car manufacturers would be banned from building cars that can go faster than it's legal to drive in this country. This would probably lead to a change in the legal speed limit.

• Make it illegal for anyone to go to a dirty movie without his or her mother. This would include mothers. Even a mother couldn't go to one without her mother. These would be known as MOM-rated movies.

• Thousands of Americans are killed each year in pedestrian accidents. Add a sentence to the seat belt laws passed in some states, making it illegal to cross the street.

• Set up police roadblocks and have officers check for junk in the glove compartments of cars. Anyone found with old, outdated road maps, broken pencils, unmatched gloves or dark glasses with one lens missing would have to return to "go."

• Part of the driver's test would be a seat belt time trial. Anyone would be denied a license who could not fasten or unfasten a seat belt in less than a minute.

• The post office would start charging a nickel for a stamp for a personal letter and $5 for a stamp on any piece of mail that contained advertising the recipient didn't want.

• Young children would travel for half fare on the airlines only if strangers who got assigned seats next to them also went for half fare.

Text Only
Opinion
  • Holly Youngquist Friends of the Library book sale is underway

    Friends of the Library Book Sale is open now. The sale is open to all until 8 p.m. today and on Friday, Aug. 1, from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Finally, Saturday, Aug. 2, is box day. From 9 a.m. to  3 p.m., books will sell at $3 per box.

    July 31, 2014 1 Photo

  • LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Cremation service helped pet owner in her time of need

    I wanted to share some positive news about a business located in Clinton that I’m guessing most residents aren’t aware even exists. It’s Northridge Pet Cremation on Main Avenue and for me they were recently a godsend.

    July 31, 2014

  • LETTER TO THE EDITOR: A Cappella choir concert was a success

    The CHS A Cappella reunion was great. It was real great to hear so many good voices of so many former choir members.

    July 31, 2014

  • LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Time to boost social security

    It's time for Congress to act so that Social Security benefits can finally start to keep pace with the cost of living.

    July 31, 2014

  • Dangerous Darkies Logo.png Redskins not the only nickname to cause a stir

    Daniel Snyder has come under fire for refusing to change the mascot of his NFL team, the Washington Redskins. The Redskins, however, are far from being the only controversial mascot in sports history.  Here is a sampling of athletic teams from all areas of the sports world that were outside the norm.

    July 29, 2014 3 Photos

  • Off and on the record Let us now praise anonymous sources.The new White House press secretary got into a familiar old spat with the White House press corps the other day over the use of anonymous sources.Josh Earnest — has there ever been a more perfectly named White Hous

    July 25, 2014

  • Be more informed

    Blame the city.That is a favorite pastime of many, including me at times. Driving over that pesky pothole or paying that annual property tax bill can lead to some choice words referencing the city. Nobody takes the brunt of being the scapegoat more t

    July 25, 2014

  • CCC thanks community, collaborators for successful movie night Clinton Community College would like to thank those who participated in the free outdoor movie showing of “Captain America – Winter Soldier” on the evening of Friday, July 18.We are grateful to have such wonderful community collaborators in the Erick

    July 25, 2014

  • Lindley, Tom.jpg Better police needed for college teams enticed to cheat

    The NCAA once cracked down on colleges that went too far luring top prospects, then it targeted teams that lathered players with special treatment. That was until the NCAA's get-tough approach backfired, rendering it ineffective and creating an opportunity for those who want to play dirty.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Lindley, Tom.jpg Expectations too high for a rehabbing Woods

    Tiger Woods finished near bottom last weekend at Royal Liverpool, drawing out his drought of major tournament wins. Despite the disappointing showing, Woods' return to form remains a matter of when, not if.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

Poll

With the Clinton County Justice Coordinating Commission and the Clinton County Board of Supervisors discussing proposals to construct a new jail, do you think the time has come for Clinton County to construct such a facility?

Yes
No
     View Results
Facebook