The Clinton Herald, Clinton, Iowa

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May 17, 2013

LEVINE: Preparing for another child


“He will cry,” she said.

I can’t mess with that logic. She then proceeded to show me how he would cry, considering I don’t know how (hopefully she doesn’t talk to Grandma or Grandpa about that).

Punishment won’t be necessary for awhile, so she will likely focus her talents on things that happen quite frequently with new babies.

Changing diapers

I’m not looking forward to this one near as much as my daughter. It’s been almost two years since I had to change diapers regularly, and that’s not something I particularly enjoy as a father.

Luckily, I’ll have my daughter helping, and she’s been training for this since she was born.

Her dolls dirty so many fake diapers that it’s a miracle there’s not something wrong with them. One second after she’s changed her doll, there’s another mess to clean up. Maybe it’s the food she serves from her kitchen or maybe she’s one of those highly-sensitive moms concerned about having a clean diaper every second. Either way, those dolls have digestive problems.

She will have to battle the occasional kick and squirming with an actual human, but I figure after a few times working with her brother, I can sit back, grab an ice-cold drink, and hand that chore off to my daughter. We’ll see how well that suggestion goes with my wife.


Giving babies a bottle is one of my daughter’s favorite past-times. Sure, she’s not around too many newborns, but when she is, she wants control of that feeding time. Unfortunately for her, my wife will breast feed, but I’m not going to be the bad guy and let that secret out of the bag. I’ll let my wife handle that one.

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